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"The Masked Retriever" is a song from the episode of the same name.

Characters singing

Lyrics

Part 1

Uniqua: I am a great librarian, I'm full of information.

I know every book on every shelf and every stack.

They're here for you to borrow, so come on in and take 'em.

But you better keep track... of when it's time to bring them back...

...'cause sometimes I become the Masked Retriever!

Hunting down books that are missing, lost, or late.

The Masked Retriever! I am the Masked Retriever!

I find them even if they're hiding in another state!

People think librarians are glamorous and stylish.

We always look so elegant, we aim to please.

Yes, of course, that's true, but it's not the whole story.

'Cause I have a secret side...a side that no one ever sees.

Yes, sometimes I become the Masked Retriever!

Hunting down borrowers whose books are overdue.

The Masked Retriever! I am the Masked Retriever!

So, don't forget your due date, or I'm coming after you!

That's when I become the Masked Retriever!

Someone's got to do it and that somebody is me.

The Masked Retriever! I am the Masked Retriever!

The bravest, boldest hero that you'll probably ever see.

The Masked Retriever! I am the Masked Retriever!

The bravest, boldest hero that you'll probably ever see!

Part 2

Uniqua: For no one can outrun the Masked Retriever!

I'll stay in hot pursuit on my speedy, trusty horse.

Austin (dialogue): To Mexico!

Uniqua: The Masked Retriever! I am the Masked Retriever!

No one can outrun me, including you, of course!

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