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"No One Gets to Play Today" is a song from the episode "Blazing Paddles".

Characters singing

Lyrics

Tyrone: One day the rain will finally end.

Austin: One day the clouds will go away.

Tasha: One day I'll play Ping Pong again...

Austin, Tyrone, and Tasha: ...but no one gets to play today. No one gets to play today. No one gets to play. Our Ping Pong paddles have gone away, so no one gets to play. Yeah, no one gets to play today...

Pablo: Today the sun is shining bright, today there's not a trace of gray. Today I'll play and feel all right, 'cause I can play all day today. I will play all day today, I will play all day. All the paddles are mine to stay, so I alone will play... ...yet no one else can play today.

Austin, Tyrone, and Tasha: No one gets to play today. No one gets to play.

Pablo: All the paddles are mine to stay, so no one gets to play.

All: Yeah, no one gets to play today. Yeah, no one gets to play today.

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